Alessandra is a pretty name and it suits its owner well because Alessandra, who is my cousin, is definitely a looker. Her startling blue eyes complement her heart-shaped face, sufficiently aquiline nose, rosy lips, high cheekbones and long chocolate brown hair. She is also slender and tall and has an incredibly clear olive skin. Yep, Alessandra fits perfection to a T – physically anyway.

Her personality on the other hand is an entirely different story. Imagine a brown-haired Venus who keeps mostly to herself because no matter how pretty she is and no matter how many times you remind her of the fact, she thinks otherwise. This description basically summarizes my cousin. She believes that she is inferior compared to many people and lacks self confidence.

Whenever she looks at the mirror, all she sees is someone whose beauty and abilities are as brilliant as a rustic old nail. The result is that she only has a few friends, no boyfriend and a social life that would shame Rip van Winkle’s state of inactivity. Why Alessandra perceives herself this way, I really do not understand. Fortunately, I do not have to be a genius to realize that what my cousin needs is a dose of the confidence that I have been born with in abundance.

Hey, I may not be Paris Hilton but I definitely am made up of the stuff that she is (minus the heiress title). So, with these thoughts in my mind, I gave Alessandra lessons on how to improve self confidence. Since generosity is my middle name, I have also decided to share them with you (yes, YOU! my faithful reader) here.

• For us to improve self confidence, we first have to recognize that we are worth a million bucks. Okay, so this is an exaggeration but the point is, we must realize that we are worthy of life and worthy of living. Not being famous or popular does not mean that we are insignificant. Being alive is in itself a beautiful thing and we should celebrate it. We should, in reality then, celebrate our selves and every day of our lives.

• Second, we have to acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses. For example, if we are good in art, then we should give ourselves a pat in the back. Being proud of our talent does not necessarily mean that we are arrogant about it. After all, if a person does not have pride in what he has, he is likely to think that he is incapable. However, we also have to comprehend that we have limitations. We may be talented in 2 dimensional Art but we may not be as adept in 3D. Knowing our limitations gives us the chance to challenge ourselves and therefore improve and gain more confidence in our capacities.

• Third, carpe diem! is imperative. Carpe diem literally translates to seize the day! Naturally, we have to seize every opportunity that we are given to show the world who we are. These opportunities could be little ones, from returning a lost wallet to its rightful owner to slightly bigger things such as winning a school debate and finally to those that are massive like discovering the next habitable planet in the solar system. The short of it is that, it pays to do things and to do them well no matter how small they may seem because they contribute to gaining self confidence.

• Fourth – try, try, try again and again and again. Whenever we fail, we do not have to be embarrassed about it. Rather, we should use the failure as a stepping stone to improvement. Great things do not come easy so if we want things that are of considerable magnitude, we should kiss goodbye to whatever is easy. You see, failing every now and then is good. It builds character and character gives us self confidence. So the next time you fail, think of it as heaven sent.

• Thou shall not compare. As cliché as it may sound, we are all unique individuals. Comparing ourselves to others basically strips us of the occasion to focus on what we can offer as a one-of-a-kind person. Instead, we are consumed with wanting to be like the other guy or the other girl because they are such darlings and we are such dorks. What we fail to see is that we actually have characteristics, quirky or not, that make us dear to people around us. So we end up feeling inferior and tottering on the riverbank of insecurities. Of course, this affects our self-confidence.

• Finally, we should never forget to think positive. If, for example, today we have a bad hair day, we should not let this sad fact overwhelm us. It’s just hair. Besides, today is not everyday. Tomorrow we can always look nicer. If we think positively about a situation, even when it seems to be one that is drastically making us desperate, we become more confident in our ability to get out of it. When we do this, we also improve self confidence.

The above are things that we could all engage in so as to become more self-assured and less insecure. As for Alessandra – she is starting to get over her irrational thinking and beliefs of being inferior. She is friendlier, more talkative, more approachable and more sociable. In other words she is happier – WAY HAPPIER.

So, are you reading this because you need to improve self confidence? In that case, why don’t you try the suggestions I have written above? They might do you a lot of wonder. If you have had success with boosting your own self confidence we ask you what worked well for you?